The Voices of Children of Divorce
isn’t it time to listen to the kids of divorce speak? Sustaining the divorce ideology we have come to hang on to so tightly requires us not to ask questions. It also presents a framework to kids that pressures them to accept current divorce ideology as “good.” Think about how psychologically complex this becomes for kids – especially with the gobs and gobs of research telling us that kids thrive with their mother and father in a stable home.
“The kids are socially invisible. If they have a problem, we take them to therapy. We put them on medication. But we never admit that maybe the adults should have worked as hard on their marriages as they seem to work on managing their divorce. And we certainly never tell the adults not to remarry.
Even inside the family, the children are not permitted to voice their real feelings. Love inside the family feels fragile: the kids have absorbed the message that people sometimes leave each other, or get kicked out. They may view love as unreliable. Even if children could verbalize their feelings, (which they can’t) they are afraid to risk losing their parents’ love. They don’t want to upset mom or dad.
They learn to silence themselves.”
Clash Daily published Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse’s Forward to Leila Miller’s new book, “Primal Loss: Now-Adult Children of Divorce Speak.” Clash Daily readers have shared this story over 800 times already. This story of the agony and injustice endured by Children of Divorce cannot be told too often! The book gives voice to the adult children of divorce. These stories are hard to read and debunk the divorce ideology so prevalent in our culture.
Read the book anyone who is contemplating divorce. Read it for your marriage, for your family, for your kids.
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