To save your marriage requires an enormous amount of strength. You must admit your wrongs, admit your failings to your spouse, admit your inability to love and admit you are “succombing to the smooth, easy voice of evil.” This is the suffering part. This takes time, tears, confession and much prayer. Marriage is your vocation. Marriage is your path to heaven.
While this is happening ask for God’s mercy to show your your own errors, your own lack of love, your own weaknesses highlighted. Be humble and aware of what He is showing you because He will show you. You must be able to see the bright light He will shine on all the places and parts where you want to reject Him. You cannot reject Him. however, is you want mercy and healing because that mercy and healing comes with a renewed sense of heart; a change; a new life in Christ no longer outside Him at all. You will be renewed in strength and in how to love. You will find certainty in your actions because your humility to God will allow Him to work and be seen by you.
Do not wait. Stop being angry at your spouse and demoralizing him or her. Take some time and begin the process I outlined and see what happens. God bless you all this Holy Week 2017. Cultivate humility to know why He died for you.