The Facebook Divorce Connection
Social media networking can become a serious issue in many a marriage. What seems like an innocent social connection can quickly morph into a too-close friendship and then into a full blown relationship all the while hidden from your spouse. It is not easy to discern when things have gone too far but before you know it conversations move from introductory and innocently reminiscent to flirtatious and outright inviting. These exchanges can be hard to resist because they seem arm’s length, they seem not real, they seem simply playful. However, these exchanges are real from the outset. You are forming a real relationship and you now are looking forward to your chats and private messages.
Soon these exchanges will be replaced with telephone calls or texts and then requests for in person meetings. You see, it becomes easier and easier to move forward because the momentum is carrying you. You must realize, from the start, that you cannot engage in a private way with members of the opposite sex when you are married. You owe it to your spouse to be faithful. Playing fast and loose with that vow is risky and unfair. Facebook is a real temptation in this arena because it gives you opportunity to enter into relationships thinking it is all innocent. Do not be fooled. You know in your conscience and your heart when you have gone too far. Don’t put yourself in those situations from the beginning and you will be doing your marriage a great favor.
My astute business partner, Cary Sanchez, found this great article giving stats and information regarding the social networking/divorce link:
“A 2010 survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers showed that 81 percent of “the nation’s top divorce attorneys” reported an increase in social networking websites being used as evidence in divorce cases. Facebook is the leader, being cited in 66 percent of cases that involve online evidence.”
Thanks for the focus on Facebook’s impact on marriages. We noticed you used the “1 in 5 divorces involve Facebook” stat. The “stats” around this issue have gotten so loose and messy that we investigated the 14-month history of this stat and put the findings on our blog, Techlationships.com. We encourage you to read “Debunking the 1-in-5 Divorces Linked to Facebook Stat” at http://bit.ly/1in5FB and maybe do a story on it.
BTW, 2 days after our blog post, the Wall Street Journal did an article on it as well validating our findings.
Let us know if you have any questions! K Jason and Kelli Krafsky (The Social Media Couple/Co-Authors of “Facebook and Your Marriage”)
Thank you for your comment and information. I do hope people go to your article and read it as it is well researched and does show certain media outlets spinning the information. I would say, however, that the post I wrote stands on its own just fine in light of the extra information from your article. You also address the same issues I address in the last two paragraphs. Additionally, I think the article we cited from crosswalk.com does not exaggerate or mislead and additionally, adds other sources to support its conclusions which center more on the fact that married couples must maintain appropriate boundaries when social networking.
Thanks Brenda! We were excited to get the info. out there as it was driving us crazy to see this stat. recirculated over and over. Unfortunately, it still continues! We wholeheartedly agree with you on couples maintaining appropriate boundaries while social networking. This is our passion and the premise for our book. We are avid Facebookers and it’s our goal to bring common sense and healthy boundaries to marriages, families, and relationships in this social media age! Keep up the good work!!!