Nature of Cases
- Multiple parties or participants
- Difficult to resolve
- Ongoing relationships between parties with strong emotional undercurrents
- Complex issues
For the last 6 years I have worked exclusively in out of court processes as a Mediator or as an Attorney representing a divorcing party in an out of court process such as a mediated divorce or a collaborative divorce or a negotiated settlement. I have chosen this route for several very good reasons. First, litigated divorce hurts families, depletes family money and causes resentment and anger that continues to escalate even after the divorce. Second, extended negotiation usually yields the best results. Why? Because the emotional side of divorce must be addressed. It is this side that normally fuels litigation. A negotiated format allows professionals to work with you to address emotions and help you move through them without escalating conflict in litigation which ends up costing you a lot of money. Divorce takes time but that time does not need to be filled with litigation. While that time may be difficult indeed, it is necessary time to sort through issues and figure things out. Finally, people make better deals when all the professionals involved have as their goal the best interest of the family. This promotes healthy outcomes and erases the idea of “winning” at all costs.
At the end of the day, divorce is usually one half business transaction and one half establishing a new relationship with the father or mother of your kids. You need help doing that. Most often litigation just makes things worse. Using the professionals out there to help you complete a fair and reasonable business transaction that works for your family sounds much better doesn’t it? And using professionals who have worked in this field for many many years to help and support you in establishing a workable relationship with the other parent makes sense right? This is what good mediators and lawyers who work outside the court system do. They use their experience with families and the law to help families.
If you are interested in any of the processes described, please read more at the specific links and contact me to set up an initial consult. In my mind, the initial consult is a key aspect of your case. The more you know and understand at the outset, before any process begins, the more likely you will be to achieve a good outcome. Choosing to save the marriage is a choice as well. I have consulted with individuals and with couples together depending on my role as attorney or mediator. Read more about my consults in the links and feel free to contact me to discuss your situation.
The vow you take says, “I am not leaving.” And so you dont…ever…because that is the boundary. And now you know it and have predictability and security. Really think about whether you want the “freedom” of divorce. Is that really a benefit? Listen and think hard about the vow you made. Share
Well, it looks like Florida is trying to force feed certification in the mediation field again. Read here. Quite frankly, I say proudly that I am not certified. I have a vast amount of experience litigating cases and have been mediating for about 8 years now. I still represent family law clients as well just […]
The Bill could not even get heard. I am sure we will see this again sooner than later. I think alimony needs reforming but hey, I think No-Fault needs reform…fault is important and should matter. Share
Less and less cases are making it all the way to trial. We attorneys know that alternative dispute resolution is one of our most important tools. USC Gould School of Law announced it is launching two new master’s degrees for attorneys and professionals in one of the fastest growing areas of law and business – […]
Several years ago I would have poo poo’d this article. But being a divorce mediator now for close to 10 years I think in many cases being hard-nosed or even hostile can force the parties out of their own embedded hostilities and increases their willingness to come to agreement. I’m not certain why but my […]
With the new tax laws, alimony is no longer going to be deductible to the payor or claimed as income by the payee. Effective January 1, 2019, the new law takes effect. Other changes in the tax bill worth noting include the fact that there is no longer a tax exemption for children. However, the […]
Why do lawyers become mediators? One reason I hear pretty often is to get out of the “stress” of being a lawyer. Another common reason is because “I want to help people resolve their differences peacefully.” Yes, back in the day, I too sort of had those reasons when I first approached mediating. However, as […]
In 2011, research was done is showing that in nearly 40% of divorce cases one or both express a desire for reconciliation. In 10% of cases, both spouses are expressing an interest in reconciliation. How does this comport with the over reaching assumption that by the time the couple files for divorce, the marriage is […]
I have seen the moms who take their kids to Mass to begin their day. And yes, I wondered about them. At the time I was going to early morning Mass I was going alone on purpose…to pray…and get closer to the Lord. Those moms often had their hands too full to be able to […]
we live in a time that espouses a relativism that does not recognize anything as definitive. By adopting the relativistic mindset “truth” no longer exists and, don’t kid yourself, neither do facts, unless they fit in with what a particular individual cares about. This allows for the current trend of labeling those who disagree as […]
“Every couple gets stuck in arguments from time to time -even for extended periods. But happy couples know that sometimes they have to disengage from the fight and find little ways to remind each other of their love for each other BEFORE re-engaging the discussion. While struggling couples either adopt a “fight till we die” […]
The linked article discusses surrogacy and whether surrogacy works toward our “common good.” Written by Matthew Eppinette, it is an important read. I think so many of our ethical debates come down to this idea of individualism vs the common good. More to it, I think that so many people are tied to the idea […]
Oh what a tangled web we weave. Frozen embryos…who do they belong to? Are they just marital property subject to division? Based on what exactly? Since a frozen embryo is no longer in a woman’s body, can a woman who does not want the embryo argue under Roe that the embryo should be killed? Is […]
The Thomas More Society is a national public interest law firm dedicated to the following pressing legal issues: life, religious liberty, and the family. Reading their website is an easy way to stay on top of current national cases affecting these important issues. Also, since the Thomas More Society is a nonprofit it relies on […]
Brenda Baietto featured in the new book: