As I travel this road of coming to understand my faith in God and as a catholic christian, I am humbled over and over again at the loving God I worship. For His ways are not my ways and my ways are not His ways.
For so long I loved Jesus – since I was a little girl. That man on the cross- dying for me and everyone – through the grace of God I recognized that message so long ago AND believed it and I continue to recognize that message and believe it. IT has carried me for so long. In my ignorance of my catholic faith and my being too busy to learn why I am a catholic, I was satisfied with that belief alone. Although my life did not represent a good life, that belief sustained my faith and quite frankly I didnt have time to question anything else – or rather, I used my own will and brain to answer questions based on how I believed Christ would respond. Sound familiar???
Through much spiritual reading, pondering in my heart, prayer, consecration of myself to Jesus through Mary I know now that Christ dying for me and for everyone is our redemption. He justifies us so that our relationship with the Father is restored. But then…our work begins. Our willing (free will) participation – in all our humanity – in the grace He offers us is required. We take in grace and we resist grace – we suffer – we make our own choices instead of taking grace – we outright refuse – we are sorry – we start again. The process – the struggle – in our humanity – is exactly what the God who loves each of us as we are – in all our humanity and weakness – wants from us. Within our deepest core, God wants us to love Him back “in the very way our human nature is designed to love.”
And we learn to love step by step. tripping and falling. starting and stopping. And that is why catholics have sacraments that infuse us, saints to intercede, Mary our Mother to aid us as she aided Christ, the Church to bring clarity to doctrine by being dependent on the Holy Spirit to guide. It is all so real and rational and steeped in our humanity. There is no cloak and mirrors – no magic – with catholicism. It is rational and traceable to tradition and steeped in the Bible. Praise God.
So – the following article is so well done and says it so much better than I just did. Read it. Enjoy it. And be freed knowing that God loves you in your humanity and frailty and that He waits for you to participate! Without your participation – He can only stand by tapping at you, watching you, knocking on your door. He will never force you. Isnt that so awesome!!!