I have said this since I read it in “David Goes to School” by David Shannon: “I don’t care who started it!” I say it to my kids and I have been saying it to clients both as an attorney and as a mediator. Contrary to popular opinion, figuring out whose fault it is does not resolve conflict!
Enjoy Joseph Markowitz’s article The Blame Game and notice that spending all that energy trying to figure out whose fault it is only leads you down the path of deeper anxiety and frustration. Leave the fault behind and get on with the problem solving already.
BTW – read David Shannon’s complete series on “David” even if you do not have kids because you will see yourself and others in that rascally little kid. Remember, he is not a “bad” boy, he is just real – just like all of us.